Restaurant Review: Taco Rica

Skip it!  Es muy pobre.  (or something like that).  Upon arrival the guy sweeping the floor takes our order and hands us a basket of chips without changing his gloves or washing his hands.  In addition they do not have soft shell corn tortilla tacos, only flour.  The hard shell corn taco shells were thin, crumbly and filled with tasteless port and beef.  The stewed shredded chicken was reasonably good though a bit salty.  I will waste no more time on this loser.

Restaurant Review: Lime Fresh Mexican Grill

Skip it.  3 somewhat bland steak tacos for $8.49 severed in a basket with a half dozen chips is not a bargain.  The tortillas on the tacos were dry and not fully warmed, neither steamed nor heated well on the flatiron.  The highpoint was the salsa bar with medium roasted green chili and hot habanero available, among others.  But with only 6 chips to work with I was still not very satisfied.  The vermicelli sized cheese shreds on top of the tacos was also an insult to my sense of propriety.  Either put enough cheese to create flavor or leave it off.  Don't put enough to remind me that I wish I could taste some cheese on my taco.

The chain is trying to franchise.  Stay clear.

Ruby Tuesday is going to open franchises.  Need I say more about the bland appeal?

Restaurant Review: Chez le BeBe

Do it!  I knew we were in luck when a line of Hatian locals ordered takeout in what kinda-sorta sounded French.  The fried pork was great.  One square inch, relatively ugly pieces of very tender, well seasoned, deep fried pig parts were surprisingly tender.  A hot slaw of cabage, vinigar, and I think Scotch bonnet peppers was a terrific complement.  The rice and beans, mostly rice with coconut milk and stir fried, unlike most similar Cuban rice was great.  A small side salad completed the meal which two of us shared as our first meal of the day at 4 PM.  We left stuffed for $9 plus $1 for a drink.

The staff was initially perplexed by why this "apple pie" looking white guy and his beautiful, younger, non-Hatian black girlfriend were there, but warmed up to us and were eventually very hospitable, even giving a free refill on our fountain drink.

114 NE 54th St
Miami, FL 33137-2416
(305) 751-7639
Place page

UWC should we cut back on anti-terror expendatures

Zakaria: Why America Overreacted to 9/11 - Newsweek

Zakaria make the point that Al Qaeda has accomplished little terror since 9/11. America's response has handicapped itself since that time. My original preference was to largely ignore Al Qaeda. The strategies they employed for the 9/11 would not work again because Americans would never again be so passive. The problem with cutting back on anti-terrorism expenditures is that no politician want to be called soft or terror are be held responsible for dead Americans, regardless of the cost of each life saved. Clearly, prenatal care in the US or anti-malarial drugs in poorer countries would save more lives.

UWC would a benevolent dictator reduce anti-terrorism spending?

UWC will U.S. politicians reduce anti-terrorism spending?

Restaurant Review: Pizza Rustica

Do it, if nearby. Square thick crust slices are covered with little sauce and a bit of cheese but many other ingredients the flavors of which are independently distinguishable. The meat lovers pizza was good but a $5 not a great deal. My Peroni beer was another $4.

Restaurant review: Groovy's Pizza

921 Washington Ave
Miami Beach, FL 33139

Skip it. The barbecue chicken pizza was too sweet and the smoke flavoring overpowered all other ingredients, such as the chicken. In fairness, big chucks of chicken covered the thin yet not so crispy crust.

Restaurant Review: Los Catrachas

755 Flagler, Miami 33130.

Do it, if nearby. Decent Honduran food. The Honduran dinner of beef with poached eggs, refried beens, plantains, queso fresco and two thick tortillas was decent for $9, tax included in the price. If in the area again I will try somewhere else, not because it was bad but just for the variety of experiences. Plenty of Central American restaurants are within blocks.

Restaurant Review: Five Guys

Do it. New national chain. Very yummy, thin style burgers, two to a bun, with 20 toppings to choose from. This one sell beer! Heineken is $3, probably the best price on the strip. Fries are OK, but I'm not that much of a fry guy. If around 15th and hungry for some bargain beef, this Five guys is the call.

500 Washington Avenue
Miami Beach, FL 33139-7801
(305) 538-3807fiveguys.com‎

Restaurant review: Meridian Food Market

Do it! You got me; it's not really a restaurant, but they serve food. The flan is incredible! For $3.50 creamy, caramel, decadence slide down my gullet on two occasions (I could not finish it at one sitting). Get it! The bread pudding was similarly large and good, but a bit dry. Flan will be my choice 9 of 10 occasions. The tiramisu is tempting. The Cuban buffet sports a selection of beef, chicken, and fish all of which looks good and is constantly purchased by locals. For coffee fans they offer fresh pressed for low prices. Butchers cut beef in the back. I am moving nearby in large part because I expect to be a regular. This post will be updated as I eat more.


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Restaurant Review: Las Olas

Do it!  Very good Cuban food catering to locals, though only a couple of block from the Washington Ave. night clubs, bars and pizza joints.  First time I enjoyed ropa vieja with yellow rice and fried sweet plantains ($6.95) and a fresh squeezed grapefruit juice ($3.00).  The second visit chicken cordon bleu again with yellow rice and plantains was a bit unusual buy yummy.  Rather than a crisp exterior the chicken was preprepared (surely that day) and waiting in a sauce.  No complaints, just different.  I expect to eat just about everything here before I leave Miami Beach.


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Nannie's Colombian Restaurant

Do it.  The steak, chorizo, pork skin (not my thing), plantains, white rice, and beans were good though not great and a fair deal for $12.99.  The chorizo was the highlight.  The plantains (maduros) were good and ripe, but they only gave two smallish pieces.  Come on.  Plantains are about 69 cents a pound.  Give me at least 30 cents worth rather than a dime.  All else was standard fare but done well.  The hot sauce was OK, but serve with a little spoon making application a pain in my ass.  They also refused to serve me tap water, which is a pet peeve of mine, so I got a Heineken for $4.  The atmosphere was fine with medium volume Latin music.  I might return. It is located at about 700 Washington Ave. on the west side of the street (away from the ocean) but cannot be found on Google maps.

About the review format

All will start with an unambiguous "Do it" or "Skip it" followed by a more nuances analysis.  Brevity is a virtue, because you should be out enjoying the weather not inside surfing the net.

Hint: Why women are attracted to a man dressed in red

Why women are attracted to a man dressed in red | Mail Online

Maybe not specific to SoBe, but that wearing red makes men more sexually attractive to women is an especially useful thing to know while here.

It gets interesting when one considers common knowledge of the phenomenon.

If all women know that all men know that women are attracted to red, then do women treat men who are wearing red like horny devils?

Can women control the primal urges instigated by red? If not then men should wear red regardless of what women know.

If women can control their urges if they know the man is wearing red just to attract them, is a man's best strategy to wear stealth red that women's subconscious will recognize but the women will not consciously process and accordingly not compensate by treating a man like the "horny devils that wear red?"

If women know horny devils wear red, and they are looking for a horny devil, then wearing red is a low risk way (ego-wise) of attracting women who are ready for action.

I'll be the dude wearing a red devil suit on Washington Ave. Ha ha ha!

Thoughts?

Introduction

Hello,

When looking for advice about South Beach we found an abundance of vapid reviews, spam sites, and general marketing crap.  We are here to provide your antidote and guide you toward a great time while getting some bang for your bucks (this is SoBe so one buck won't get much regardless of what your know.)

A bit about us...We are staying anonymous to allow continued "secret shopper" experiences around town.  So without revealing our identities, I (he) is late 30s, well traveled (40 or so countries), ethnic cuisine eater, and cooker.  Occasionally I imbibe a bit fervently but that is how we live--gluttons for gusto.  She is mid 20s, too sexy for her shorts (occasionally her shirt), and is down for whatever.

We promise to provide honest reviews that help you get what you came for: food, drink, sun, and maybe even some sex.  Enjoy!